Three Relationship Buckets
Working with relationships can be messy and confusing. This brief post can help you decide how to manage them – whatever kind they are – by assigning them to one of three “buckets.”
Start with the relationships that are obviously supportive and positive. Is this a good time to take any of them deeper, or expand them in appropriate ways?
Toxic relationships fall on the other end of the spectrum. Is this a good time to completely cut off contact with overwhelmingly negative people? Or can you at least minimize contact?
Finally, there are “mixed bag” relationships. You never know whether they’re going to make you feel great or turn into a train wreck!
I’ve done over 12,000 client sessions as an astrologer, shamanic healer, and life coach. After hearing so many people tell me about their relationships, I’ve concluded that the more of the following four factors are present, the greater your chances of harmonizing a challenging relationship:
- Both people have a strong desire to heal the relationship.
- You’re using a formal relationship healing method with a proven track record when needed. (My favorite is Nonviolent Communication.)
- Both people take responsibility for their own emotions. They understand that the other person can only act as a catalyst, and can’t force them to feel a certain way.
- Each person is actively doing their own emotional healing work outside the relationship container. They might be working with a therapist or healing practitioner. Or they might be using a fast and easy DIY tool such as my free Healing Invocation.
Trying to harmonize one of these mixed bag relationships can take a lot of time and energy. Make sure there’s a good chance of a positive outcome!
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