Did This Difficult Client Deserve My Forgiveness?

June 2, 2016 | By | 3 Replies Read More

ForgiveThe woman on the phone clearly wasn’t my typical client. She had lots of questions about how I did shamanic healing, and whether I could really help her when so many others hadn’t. I could already sense that she might be trouble.

Client confidentiality is a big deal for me, so there’s a lot I can’t tell you. But I’ll tell you the things I can that are important to this story. I’ll call this woman Jamie, which of course isn’t her real name.

Jamie was especially interested in my satisfaction guarantee. Would I really not charge her anything if the session wasn’t helpful? Since it might take months for her to know whether my session had helped her, how could she know whether to pay me?

I explained to Jamie that she would definitely know whether or not she had experienced a significant energetic shift during our session. And if later on she determined that the work hadn’t been helpful in the way she wanted it to be, she could call and get a refund.

This discussion took an unusually long time. Another warning sign. Finally, she agreed to work with me.

The Session

My shamanic healing sessions usually run 90 minutes to two hours. Jamie’s took almost 2-1/2 hours. My spiritual allies and I ran into a lot of resistance, and had to work extra-hard to break her through to her awakened state and integrate it into her physical body.

At the end of her session, Jamie acknowledged that she was feeling the “smooth electricity” of divine consciousness in her body, was completely peaceful, and was free of mental chatter and challenging emotions. I explained to her that maintaining and deepening this state, which would only take 5-10 minutes a day with my Heal and Awaken Invocations, was how she would get to the goal she desired. I emphasized that the shift wouldn’t happen overnight, but that she would see a significant difference in the coming weeks and months if she did her part.

Jamie said she understood. At the end of the call, after reconfirming the details of my refund policy, she paid for the session.

The Refund

The next morning she called and asked for a refund. She was already sure it wasn’t going to work.

I promptly issued her refund. She even called again later that afternoon to ask why the money hadn’t been credited to her account yet! (I explained that she would probably see the credit the next business day.)

Was I upset by all this? A little bit. To work extra hard to help someone, and then get stiffed by them before they even give your work a chance to reap its benefits, is not a good feeling.

But I’ve been down roads like this before, in both personal and professional situations. And I’ve learned the hard way that holding anger and resentment toward someone who has seemed to treat me unfairly only eats me up inside.

Making Peace With the Situation

I first made peace with the situation logically. I believed that she was doing the best she could, given the level of consciousness that she was operating from. Perhaps I owed her a karmic debt from a past life, and refunding her session payment had finally cleared it. And even if someone occasionally takes unfair advantage of my satisfaction guarantee, it still does me a lot more good than harm in the long run.

But these rationalizations didn’t soothe the hurt in my heart. So I did the only thing I knew that would remedy my emotional pain: I blessed Jamie. (All this took place on the inner planes, with no physical world interaction.) I flooded her with unconditional love. I became a conduit for whatever energy would most benefit her. And I prayed for her to awaken at the fastest rate that would serve her highest good.

The divine energy flowed through me to Jamie for several minutes. It felt like a strong, clear river. When the flow finally slowed and stopped, I checked my heart. No anger. No resentment. I thought of Jamie and what she had done … and felt perfectly fine.

Certainly, my small act of forgiveness is nothing compared to those remarkable souls who have forgiven horrific acts such as rape and murder. But the principle is the same, and you can do it too.

Is there a Jamie in your life? Someone whom you feel has treated you unfairly? Someone who brings up feelings of anger or resentment?

I don’t forgive others because they deserve it. I forgive because I deserve to be free of the negative feelings that will keep dogging me if I don’t. Forgiveness is a selfish act, and wonderfully so. It frees me to be at peace.

Don’t you deserve that too?

Here’s a simple, effective forgiveness tool you might find helpful.

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Category: Practical Spirituality

As an “AstroShaman,” Benjamin Bernstein offers the soul-level insights of astrology, the healing power of shamanism and the ongoing support of life coaching. Benjamin hosts This Week in Astrology, a Top 10 Astrology Podcast Award winner, and was voted Western North Carolina's best astrologer three years in a row. After doing over 7000 sessions, Benjamin has fine-tuned his ability to help you master challenge, embrace transformation and enjoy a more wonderful life. Satisfaction guaranteed, or it’s free!

Comments (3)

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  1. Robin says:

    Thank you so much for this article at this time, it was exactly what I needed!! Thank you for the extra help with your forgiveness tool, that was wonderful. I use your invocations daily and look forward to your newsletters and our Ease program <3 Much Love and Light to you….

  2. Alison Rowley says:

    Hi Benjamin,

    Thanks as always for your lovely informative email – always a joy to receive.

    Glad you were able to clear yourself of that negative emotion you absorbed. Yey for forgiveness; that’ll do it every time!

    Sending you peace and gratitude.


    Alison :)

  3. Monica says:

    I work with people like Jamie all the time. They have been hurt again and again and again and thus they are afraid to trust anyone. Your giving her a refund is exactly what she needed. It was the right thing for any true healer to do but what happens more often is they are rewounded and retraumatized by people who take such behavior personally. I hope she finds other souls that trust her enough to give her what she needs so that she too can heal. Thank you for being one who did.

    For whatever it’s worth I’ve been able to forgive two rapists in my life…and I was once just like Jamie too.

    Love to you.

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