Boy, do I get asked this one a lot! I’m having a conversation with someone who knows I’m an astrologer, the subject of romance arises, and they ask, “What sign should my partner be?” (They are, of course, referring to the Sun sign.)
Individual Chart Factors
If only it was that easy! The Sun sign is always an important factor in any person’s chart, but it’s rarely the most relevant for romance. Venus, which carries relationship as a core part of her archetypal energy, is often more important.
For women, Mars represents an essential part of the energy of her romantic partner, and Saturn and the Sun can also be worth a look. For men, I might look not only at Venus but also at the Moon. All of these factors can come into play for the LGBT community. For each of these planets, I would also consider its sign, house and aspects.
And that’s just the beginning. When describing a person’s ideal long-term partner from their own natal chart, it’s also essential to look at the signs ruling the 7th and 8th houses, the rulers of those signs, and any planets in those houses.
And that doesn’t even factor in the critically important natal aspects between all these planets. And don’t even get me started talking about the moving energies that might be temporarily stimulating everything we’ve been talking about so far!
Synastry Grid and Composite Charts
Is your head spinning yet? I hope not, because we’re just getting warmed up! When looking for compatibility between two people, I take all the natal factors discussed so far and cross-correlate them between both charts. This creates a 361-box “synastry grid” which shows how all of one person’s planets and sensitive points interact with someone else’s.
Beyond that, there are two types of composite charts that can be analyzed: midpoint and Davison. And transits to the natal and Davison charts can show whether specific opportunities and challenges are short-term or hard-wired.
The Sun Sign Isn’t Nearly Enough
Bottom line: relationship astrology, like relationships, is complicated. The question of what astrological energies a person should seek in their ideal partner can never, ever be boiled down just to a Sun sign. In fact, considering only the Sun sign could cause you to weed out someone who might, when all the astrological energies are factored in, turn out to be a virtually perfect match!
Don’t get me wrong — I’m not dissing Sun sign astrology. I send my sincere blessings to all the Sun sign writers who do so much to keep astrology alive in the public mind. (I’ve even written Sun sign forecasts myself.)
But, since any statement about a Sun sign has to be true for 1/12 of the world’s population, one has to stay very general when working at this level. And, since one has to do the opposite when seeking a life partner – move from the general to the minutely specific — working only from a Sun sign doesn’t tell you enough to even start making a decision.
So if you’re going to use astrology to help you choose a partner, be sure to learn enough about the numerous factors involved to do it properly. Otherwise, you’re really better off consulting with a professional who has already mastered the highly complex art of using astrology to determine relationship compatibility.
Significantly revised 1/10/15. Originally published in the February 2008 newsletter.