Soulmates Beyond Marriage: My Ever-Deepening Love With Spiritsong

Note: This is a “spin-off” post from my recent article, “My Bisexuality and Polyamory Astrologized.” This article will be more meaningful if you read the other one first. Spiritsong read and approved this post.

An enduring unconditional love can be experienced between two people, even more deeply, after a romantic partnership ends. This has been the case with me and Spiritsong, who was my fourth wife. We were romantic partners for our first seven years, but have shared an intertwined life journey for almost 13 years. We’ve enjoyed a harmonious, mutually supportive and deeply loving relationship both during and after our marriage.

Like me, Spiritsong is a professional astrologer and healing facilitator. Many will remember the This Week in Astrology podcasts she co-hosted with me, or perhaps went to one of the Asheville-area singer/songwriter gigs where we sang together.

Spiritsong lovingly and powerfully embodies all the Uranus/Aquarius catalyzing energies I mentioned in my bisexuality/polyamory article. Under her angelic influence, my many rough edges started getting smoothed out. My personal and spiritual growth went into high gear during our seven years as a couple.

Spiritsong is very psychically sensitive. Although I was honoring our commitment to physical monogamy, she could occasionally feel my inner restlessness and desire for sexual connection with others. Each time she checked in with me about this, I was honest about what I was feeling. I loved Spiritsong profoundly, but also felt that I wanted more than one love.

We were still undecided about our future status as a couple when, one day, she surprised me. She drove me to a part of the forest that was special to her. In that sacred place, in an extraordinary act of unconditional love, she offered to release me from our marriage bonds. She said that she loved me with all her heart and wished that we could stay together. But it was more important to set me free so I could explore my polyamorous desires.

I accepted her release with both gratitude and sorrow. It wasn’t easy to walk away from what was, hands down, the best relationship I’d ever had. As we went through the process of separating during the following months, many who saw us together couldn’t believe we were getting ready to divorce. They felt so much love between us, they said, that we felt more like a couple who were about to get married!

In the years since our divorce, Spiritsong and I have remained best friends. We understand that we have a profound soul connection, and support each other any way we can. Our love has continued deepening steadily, even as we’ve moved in and out of relationships with others.

Many people think of love as conditional and limited. If you have a romantic partner, you’re not supposed to love anyone else. Such is human, egoic love, which can be granted or withheld based on mood or circumstance.

But from a higher perspective, love is all there is. Even if you choose monogamy, you can still open your heart to all other beings and everything else that exists. In doing this, you spontaneously merge with what you thought was “other” … only to discover that it was you all along! There is only God, which amuses itself by pretending to be separate manifestations. This nondual awareness is the essence of spiritual awakening.

Polyamory means “many loves,” and is usually taken in a sexual context. But the bond Spiritsong and I share might be called “platonic polyamory.” We stand as an example of how an enduring unconditional love can be experienced between two people, even more deeply, after a romantic partnership ends.